


Why Are We Strangers

by aleia



Series: No Game Whatsoever [5]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Overstimulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:22:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia
Summary: The next part in this series where I'm just going to have to change canon a little. This is the next part of the Kent/Matty verse. Matty would like to remind everyone that the year they got together, they won the cup because I forgot to do that and I didn’t write it. It happened though. This jumps to after, which is also Jack’s senior year at Samwell.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Kent "Parse" Parson & Jeff "Swoops" Troy, Kent "Parse" Parson/Jack Zimmerman (Past), Kent "Parse" Parson/Original Male Character(s)
Series: No Game Whatsoever [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/805731
Comments: 48
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [American Dream Since He Was 17](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11555718) by [aleia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia). 



Kent goes straight from Matty’s apartment to Jeff’s apartment after their fight. He should probably call ahead and make sure Jeff’s there, but he can’t think that clearly. Jeff calls while he’s driving, but Kent ignores it because he doesn’t want to stop to answer. He’s still crying when he lets himself into Jeff’s place.

Jeff pulls him into a hug immediately.

“He called you already, didn’t he?” Kent asks when he can talk.

“He texted me like a coward and then didn’t answer me when I asked what happened. Now he’s hiding behind Reaper. Which is stupid. Reaper will not protect him if he finds out Matty made you cry. I can get to Matty if I want to.”

Kent doesn’t actually want Jeff to _do_ anything to Matty, but he can’t help but be grateful for Jeff’s loyalty.

“You don’t even know what we fought about.”

“I can guess, but I’d feel better if you just told me,” Jeff says.

“Zimms.” Kent’s not surprised by Jeff’s lack of surprise. They have a free day after they play Providence and before they play Boston.

“Have you asked Jack if he wants to see you?” Jeff asks.

“Not yet,” Kent says. He doesn’t want to look at Jeff when he says it, so he turns around and goes to the couch. Of course, Jeff just follows him.

“I’m not just going to side with Matty,” Jeff says. “But I don’t think you should just show up either. Send him a text or an e-mail and ask if he’ll meet up. Make it clear that you aren’t trying to get back together and see what happens. Ask Matty if you can tell Jack about him and maybe that will calm him down. It might calm both of them down. And if Jack doesn’t want to see you, then you have to respect that.”

“In my defense, Matty didn’t give me time to suggest any of those things when I brought up that I wanted to see Jack. So, I _could’ve_ planned to say those things.”

“You know Matty has issues with Jack. He’s your ex-boyfriend. You obviously still care about him. You have to understand why Matty would be upset that you want to see him.”

“But he wasn’t just my boyfriend. He was my best friend. I can’t care about someone who was my best friend? Last time he was going to the NHL, he crashed. And now he’s graduating and everyone’s all over him again.”

“And now you have zero feelings for him?” Jeff asks. “You’re completely over him?”

“I love Matty. I would never ever cheat on him. I don’t know exactly how I feel about Zimms, but it doesn’t matter. My _reasons_ for wanting to talk to him are platonic,” Kent says. “And I don’t know. Maybe I just don’t want to get asked questions about him next year without clearing the air.”

Jeff doesn’t argue right away, so Kent has to look at him. Jeff finishes reading a text on his phone before he answers.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. And considering the topic and the things Reaper’s said, I believe Matty didn’t give you a good chance to talk about it. I think you should talk to Caitlin about it also—regardless of what Matty says.”

Jeff pauses like he expects Kent to object, but Kent doesn’t bother. He has an appointment coming up anyway. He’s not stupid. He was going to bring it up.

“Let Matty calm down and then try to talk to him.”

“Reaper’s not going to calm him down,” Kent points out. Matty didn’t go to Reaper because he thought Reaper would agree with Kent on the topic.

“Reaper is going to calm him down because I told him that Matty didn’t let you talk. And ultimately, Reaper definitely wants you and Matty to make up. Which I’m sure Matty wants, too. He loves you.”

Kent nods. Jeff’s not wrong. But if that’s all it was, Kent wouldn’t be as upset as he is.

“I don’t know how to stop caring about Zimms. I love Matty. I don’t want to get back together with Zimms. But I don’t know how to not care about him, and that’s what Matty wants.”

It’s not that he doesn’t understand on some level how Matty feels, but that doesn’t change anything. Kent can’t just turn off his feelings. If he could do that, he wouldn’t still read the e-mails he gets from his parents.

“Then that’s something you guys have to talk about. And something he has to try to deal with. And maybe it wouldn’t hurt for him to go with you to your appointment with Caitlin.”

Kent nods.

“I hate this. We never fight. This sucks.”

“I know. Do you want to stay here or go back to your house so you can be with Kit?”

“Is it completely ridiculous to want to go get Kit and bring her back here?”

***

Kent’s appointment with Caitlin isn’t for three more days and he doesn’t want to wait three days to try and fix things, so Matty comes over to Kent’s house after practice the next day. Jeff hasn’t left Kent alone since the fight and Kent can’t bring himself to tell Jeff to leave them alone. Matty has a short staring match with Jeff, but when Kent doesn’t tell Jeff to leave, Matty lets Jeff win.

“I’m sorry,” Matty says to Kent.

“For?” Kent says, not because he’s being picky, but because he doesn’t know where they’re starting from.

“For upsetting you. I never want to do that. And for raising my voice. I know that messes you up, and I should never have lost my temper like that. I’m really extra sorry about that. I know I kind of made it impossible for you to talk to me. I’m sorry.”

Kent nods.

“I promise not to do that today, and if that’s why you don’t want to talk without Jeff here, I know I deserve it.”

Kent nods again because he’s not going to lie about that to make Matty feel better. He pulls Matty over to the couch to sit down. Jeff doesn’t follow, but he doesn’t leave either. He just hovers around the breakfast bar and watches.

“Can we talk about this without you freaking out on me or do we need to have someone mediate?” Kent asks. Caitlin is still an option and he’d definitely prefer that to Matty yelling at him again.

“We can talk. I promise. Jeff can step in if he needs to, but if it comes to that, Reaper’s definitely going to get involved, so I’m motivated to not mess up again.” Matty takes his hand and squeezes.

“Remember when you promised that if this didn’t work, we’d still always be friends?” Kent starts and then waits until Matty nods. “I love you, but he was my friend. And last time he was going to the NHL, he crashed. I just want to try to talk to him. And I think that maybe because I’m with you and I can say I don’t want anything else from him, that maybe we can be friends again.”

“But he just ditched you. He hurt you. He doesn’t deserve your friendship.” Matty clutches Kent’s hand as he talks, but then loosens his grip like he’s afraid it’s too much.

“He was sick. He was really, really sick. You know that. The whole world basically knew it. And I’m going to have to play against him next year whether I like it or not. And the reporters will ask. I just want to mean it when I say things are okay between us.”

“And you want him here,” Matty says. “Please don’t lie. You want to get him to sign here.”

“I want him to be with a team where it’s okay if he’s bi. You know we’re lucky.”

“It’s not your job to take care of him.”

Kent sighs.

“But you want to,” Matty says when Kent doesn’t respond.

“I do. Because I care about him,” Kent admits. “But I love you. It’s not like I’m trying to be with him. If you’ll let me, I’ll even tell him that I’m with you. I don’t think he wants to get back together with me either, but I’ll tell him that it’s not an option.”

“And if I tell you not to talk to him, then I’m just being a controlling asshole?”

“That’s an exaggeration. But it’s not helping me move past all the drama if I can’t try to talk to him about it.”

When Matty doesn’t respond Kent adds, “And yeah. If I don’t talk to him just because you told me not to, it’s going to bother me and it’s probably not going to _help_ our relationship.”

Matty nods. He takes a deep breath and lets it out while Kent waits.

“Can you talk to me about it? Can we talk about what you want to say and talk about how it goes after? If you’re going to do this, I just need to know what’s going on. I know I usually let you tell me stuff on your own time, but this is different. We both know I’m going to freak out if you don’t talk to me about it and I don’t want that to happen. And if he says you can’t tell me things, and he wants you to keep secrets from me, then that’s a new discussion.”

“Okay. I can do that. Do you want to see what I want to text him?”

Matty nods. He’s still clutching Kent’s hand like someone’s going to separate them, or maybe more like he thinks Kent will leave him if he lets go. Kent shifts closer so that they’re pressed against each other instead of facing one another. Kent pulls up the drafts he’s written out in the notes section of his phone and hands it to Matty to read. 

_Hey Zimms. I promise if you don’t answer this, I won’t keep texting and I’ll leave you alone, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to talk. Just as friends or if you don’t want to be friends, just so we can be around each other next year without if being weird. Also, I should tell you that I’m in a relationship. Maybe that will make you feel better._

_Or maybe it’s not weird for you and you don’t care. But it’s weird for me, so if it’s okay with you I can come to Samwell the day after we play Providence. Obviously we can’t talk about this in public, but if you don’t trust me then maybe you could get your mom or dad to hang around or something. Or any of your friends if anyone knows about me. I assume if you told anyone, you can trust them. Or I can bring Jeff Troy. I know you don’t know him, but he’ll definitely just make me leave if things don’t go well._

“I don’t trust Bad Bob,” Matty says after he finishes reading.

“Bob knows about you. He _likes_ you,” Kent points out.

“I’d feel better if you say Jeff has to go.”

“Can we see what Jack says about it first?” Kent says because he doesn’t see the point in arguing if Jack says it’s fine for him to bring Jeff.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Matty hands Kent’s phone back and looks at him expectantly.

“Now?” Kent asks.

“Do you want me to leave?” Matty asks. His grip on Kent’s hand tightens again for a second.

“No. I want you to be involved. I want you to be here. Everything’s always easier when you’re with me. I never wanted to hide this from you—which is why I tried to tell you last night—but I need you to not be crazy. Jeff doesn’t like this either, but I’m telling him everything because he’s not freaking out.” Kent didn’t even realize how much he wanted Matty’s support until he said it.

“Okay. I can do that.”

Kent must not look confident about it because Matty adds, “I won’t be crazy. If I get crazy, Jeff can kick me out. Also, he told Reaper that I yelled at you, so Reaper isn’t going take my side at all if I do it again. And I won’t, okay? I promise. If I get that upset, I’ll go home, and we’ll talk about it when I cool down—which is what I should’ve done before.”

“Okay.”

Kent copies and pastes the texts into a message to Jack and sends it.

“For the record, I’m not just staying because of you now,” Jeff says to Matty. “I know you didn’t think I was going to leave after he sent those texts. I’m ordering food.”

“Noted,” Matty tells Jeff.

“Can I ask how you’re doing now that you’ve sent it?” Matty asks while Jeff’s distracted by whatever he’s ordering.

Kent can’t help hesitating.

“Can I hold you?” Matty asks. “I’m so sorry I messed up so much that you’re not sure you can talk to me.”

Instead of answering, Kent pulls his feet up on the couch and curls against Matty’s chest. He expects to feel better. He doesn’t expect the way his chest tightens and the tears well up in his eyes as soon as Matty’s arms wrap around him.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re okay. Oh babe, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Matty pulls him closer and moves his hand so he can cup the back of Kent’s head. Kent to presses his face into Matty’s neck.

“You know I love you,” Matty says into his ear. “I was never ever going to leave over this. I’m not going anywhere unless you say you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to.” Kent’s not even sure Matty can understand him, but he must, because he clutches Kent to him.

“I know. I should know that. You just wanted to talk to Zimmermann, and I freaked out. But I’m not going anywhere.” Matty’s voice lowers so much that Kent almost doesn’t hear it when he adds again. “Not unless you ask me to.”

Kent sits up so he can look at Matty’s face.

“That’s not what this is about. I don’t want to get back together with him. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Matty nods and wipes the tears from Kent’s face.

“I know. I know that. Stuff with him just makes me crazy. I’m sorry.”

“If you don’t believe me, believe Jeff. He’d be all over this ten times as much if he thought I was trying to get back together with Zimms.”

“That’s so true,” Jeff interjects.

Kent laughs into Matty’s chest, but he’s glad that Matty says, “Yeah, but I should just trust you.”

Kent nods into his chest as Jeff adds, “And Matty, you’re not off the hook with me completely. I hope you know that.”

Kent groans, but Matty just smooths back his hair and kisses his forehead. He uses his shirt to clean the rest of the mess on Kent’s face.

“Yeah. I deserve that.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Zimms texts him back, he actually makes a joke before asking if he can talk to his parents about it. Then it’s another hour before he texts again.

**Zimms:** Does your boyfriend know about me?  
 **Kent:** He does. I didn’t tell him. He figured it out. I’m sorry that happened without asking you, but I swear he won’t tell anyone. Jeff knows too.  
 **Zimms:** Yeah, I knew Jeff knew. My dad told me that. He says your boyfriend won’t tell anyone either. If you trust him, I’ll trust you.  
 **Kent:** He wants to know what we’re texting. Is that okay? He’s being overly paranoid about me texting you.  
 **Zimms:** Yeah.  
 **Zimms:** My dad said he’ll come while you’re in town. Can you come to me at his hotel? I have class in the morning that day.  
 **Kent:** Yeah. I can do that.

“I’m fine. I’m totally chill,” Matty says. “I’m not _overly paranoid._ ”

“I want you to not freak out, not lie to me about being fine.”

“Okay. I’m worried. I still think Jeff should go with you to Samwell, even if he just drives you down and waits for you. I trust you, but last time you saw Zimmermann, it really messed you up. Bob’s going to take care of his son first. Jeff should be there if something happens.”

Kent shrugs. It’s not like he doesn’t want Jeff around.

“I was going to say that anyway,” Jeff says when they look at him. “I’m telling Bob that I want to know what hotel he’s staying in. This counts as me telling you when I talk to him.”

***

Kent meets Jeff in the lobby of the hotel after talking to Zimms. Jeff makes it until they’re sitting in the rental car without saying anything, but he doesn’t start the car right away.

“You were crying. I _will_ go back in there and kick some ass,” Jeff says. He probably didn’t say it to make Kent laugh, but it’s impossible not to.

“I’m okay. It was just a lot to talk about everything. We’re going to try to be friends, but he doesn’t want to go to the Aces. It’s stupid. I don’t know why he’s so determined to prove he doesn’t need me.”

“Can I ask why you think he does need you like that?”

“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that he can be on the Aces and not worry if he comes out, or he can go to some random team where they might be assholes, and I don’t see why that’s worth the risk.”

And okay, yes. Kent also wants to play with him again, but that doesn’t make his original point wrong.

“So, did this go well or not?” Jeff asks instead of arguing.

“He said it wasn’t my fault that he stopped talking to me. He was just messed up and he couldn’t handle anything. And he wants to be friends, but I have to stop trying to get him to come to Vegas and let him do his own thing.”

Jeff finally starts the car so they can go back to Boston.

“Do you think you can let him do his own thing _and_ be his friend? Because I know that I don’t know him, but people need different things. Maybe he needs to do this for himself for reasons that don’t have to do with you.”

“Did Bob text you that?” Kent has to ask.

“He did not. I spent the entire time you were talking to Zimmermann texting with your boyfriend to keep him from freaking out.”

“Well Zimms did say he just had to do it for himself. And fine. I’ll let him do that. Bob told him not to even speak to Seattle, so that’s the best we can do I guess.” Kent pulls out his phone. He doesn’t have texts from Matty, but that’s probably because Matty was texting Jeff.

**Kent:** I’m okay. We’re on the way back to Boston. Can we talk when I get there?  
 **Matty:** Yeah. I’ll be in my room.

***

Kent walks past Matty when Matty lets him into the room. Kent lies on his back on Matty’s bed and waits.

“Should I have brought Jeff with me?” Kent asks as Matty lies down next to him.

“I can handle it. I might try to get you to break your rule about having sex the night before a game, but I can deal with talking to you about Zimmermann.”

“Can you handle us being friends?” Kent asks.

“Can I give you a giant hickey next time you’re going to see him?” Matty asks.

“Maybe if it’s in the summer and the whole team won’t see it.” Kent doesn’t hate the idea as much as he thinks he should, but he’s not going to get chirped in the locker room about it.

Matty listens while Kent recounts his conversation with Zimms, and he stays a lot calmer than Kent expects when Kent gets to the part where he cried in Zimms’ arms. He tenses, but if Kent wasn’t lying half on top of him, he might not have noticed.

“I know you hate that he won’t let you help him, but can I offer an opinion?” Matty asks when Kent’s done.

“Sure.”

“He still wants to be your friend. Without _needing_ to be your friend because you’re helping him. And it’s not going to be easy to work all that out. You know that. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe being on more equal ground will help your friendship.”

“That…was actually unbiased.”

“The likelihood of him being on the other side of the country is a big help with that.”

***

**Zimms:** Is it okay if I tell my teammates we met up? Just as friends. A couple of them brought up your game.  
 **Kent:** Yeah. Sure.  
 **Zimms:** Shits is a little worried after last time. I said the lack of alcohol made the whole thing less of an issue and stuff.  
 **Kent:** Does he know?  
 **Zimms:** No. He thinks all our issues were friend issues and hockey issues.  
 **Kent:** Okay.  
 **Zimms:** Matthews is cool with us being friends?  
 **Kent:** He’s dealing.  
 **Zimms:** And you think his jealousy is kind of hot?  
 **Kent:** To a limit. Which he’s at right now.  
 **Kent:** Two of your teammates followed me on twitter.  
 **Zimms:** Bittle? He’s always tweeting.  
 **Kent:** I’m following him back.  
 **Zimms:** Great.  
 **Kent:** Why did you convince them you don’t know who Tina Fay is?  
 **Zimms:** haha

*

**Matty:** I’m trying so hard to be cool and not read over your shoulder.  
 **Kent:** Relax. I told him you’re at the limit where your jealousy is still hot. That hotness goes away if you cross it.  
 **Matty:** Can I come over tonight?  
 **Kent:** I want to say yes. But Jeff’s going to insist on coming over too and you’re going to want to have hot jealousy sex.  
 **Matty:** So?  
 **Kent:** Behave and don’t be weird the rest of the time we’re on the plane and I’ll think about it.

***

“That was hot. I can’t move. You can just keep doing whatever until you’ve claimed every inch of my body or whatever.”

Kent knows he probably needs a shower, but he’d rather lie on his stomach while Matty continues kiss different parts of his body. Matty kisses the small of his back and his left butt cheek before spreading him open and dipping his fingers back inside. Kent squirms when Matty’s fingers stroke inside him.

“Too much?” Matty asks, but he doesn’t stop.

“I like it,” Kent mumbles, even as Matty has to hold him still to stop him from squirming away.

Matty’s always so careful when he pushes Kent like this. It took months for Kent to convince Matty that he liked it. And that was after Kent managed to admit that he wanted it in the first place. He can’t come again, but it’s something else entirely that keeps building until he’s shaking and tears are slipping out of his eyes from the overstimulation. Eventually everything in his mind goes blank until he can only feel where Matty’s touching him. Matty stops and wraps Kent up in his arms. Kent pushes as close to him as he can get while Matty soothes him by stroking his hands over every part of Kent’s body that he can reach.

“Feel better?” Kent asks once he can think again.

“I felt better a while ago. _That_ was because you wanted it. I’d never push you like that when I’m upset.”

“See. That’s why I’m yours.” Kent mumbles. “Fix the blanket? Half of me is cold.”

Matty laughs, but he fixes the blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I was so productive the first couple weeks that I was quarantined and then it started to go downhill. I'm going to try to keep going over edits on this after I post so that the next chapter goes up more quickly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Kent**

The playoffs are exhausting, and it also means that Kent feels like he can’t text Zimms. Maybe it would be easier if Samwell hadn’t lost in their last game. If Jack hadn’t gone silent for a week after it happened. Bob says he’s getting better at dealing with losing, but he’s obviously still not shaking it off well.

Maybe it’s creepy to be keeping up with Zimms through his teammate’s Twitter, but it’s not like Jack doesn’t know he follows Eric Bittle on Twitter. Plus, it’s entertaining. Zimms being clueless about his own feelings is a lot more amusing when Kent’s not the blonde teammate who’s pining.

“You’re considering getting involved again. I can tell,” Matty whispers as he leans over the seat behind Kent. Reaper’s asleep next to Matty like most of the team.

“I’m giving him until he graduates. He _insisted_ on buying Bittle frozen yogurt today,” Kent says.

“Are you sure he doesn’t know? Maybe he knows and he thinks Bittle’s not interested. Or he’s just still scared of coming out. Or he’s already done something about it and he’s not ready to tell you.”

“I think I’d know. Well, maybe not if they were together, but I think if they were together, he’d spend a lot less time talking about everything Eric Bittle says and does. Though I guess we haven’t been talking much lately.”

“But you still want to see him this summer?”

“We’ll figure it out after playoffs.”

***

**Zimms:** You never texted me after last week. You okay?  
 **Kent:** Yeah. I don’t want to talk about hockey, but yeah.  
 **Zimms:** There’s something I wanted to tell you. And ask you. It’s not about hockey.  
 **Kent:** Go for it.  
 **Zimms:** So I’m kind of seeing someone. It’s a guy.  
 **Kent:** Please tell me it’s who I think it is.  
 **Zimms:** Bittle?  
 **Kent:** Fucking finally.  
 **Zimms:** Of course, you knew. Why didn’t you tell me?  
 **Kent:** I figured if you didn’t figure it out before the summer, I’d tell you. And then I got busy with playoffs.  
 **Zimms:** Can I tell him about you? I mean, he knows we’re friends. And I think he suspects anyway.  
 **Kent:** You can. Just not about Matty yet? Can you say I have a boyfriend who isn’t out? He’ll understand that, right?  
 **Zimms:** I think so. I’m going to see him for the fourth. I’ll talk to him about it then.  
 **Zimms:** That’s your birthday. Is that weird? Or is it just shitty of me to go visit him on your birthday? He brought it up because of the holiday.  
 **Kent:** Try to remember to send a happy birthday text and I’ll forgive you. Matty’s definitely taking me on a vacation anyway. I can tell he’s plotting. Have fun with your boyfriend.  
 **Zimms:** He’s not officially my boyfriend yet.  
 **Kent:** Probably because you’re being weird and formal about it. You were friends. Matty and I were boyfriends less than 24 hours after we figured out that we liked each other.  
 **Zimms:** I can’t just assume.  
 **Kent:** Ok. You know, he’ll probably think it’s cute that you’re being weird and formal. Just be really clear that you’re only crazy about him and you’ll be fine.  
 **Zimms:** Thanks for being okay with this.  
 **Kent:** I’ve been with Matty for almost two years. You’re the weirdo who clearly has a type.  
 **Zimms:** I don’t have a type.  
 **Kent:** He’s blonde. He’s your liney. He has way better taste in music than you. Please tell him about me so we can bond.  
 **Zimms:** I’m going to regret this.  
 **Kent:** I’m going to send him all your awkward pictures.  
 **Kent:** Seriously though. Tell him I want to meet him.

***

**Matty**

The beginning of July is taken up with prospect camp and vacations. Matty gets Parse all to himself for a week. It’s pointless that they’re in the Bahamas, because they spend almost the entire time in bed or in the shower. Without hockey, Matty has all the time in the world to find every sensitive spot on Kent’s body with his hands and then with his mouth. Matty loves hockey, but he’d really like to be able to keep Kent to himself for longer.

But they have hockey and Parse is too good of a captain to not be in the best possible shape when training camp starts.

The first couple days that they’re back in Vegas, Matty’s not surprised that he doesn’t see Parse. Jeff hates being separated from Kent and Matty claimed Kent for himself for an entire week. Jeff trusts him, so Matty’s willing to pay him back by respecting their relationship, even if he’s not going to do everything the way Jeff wants all the time. And Matty trusts Jeff, so he doesn’t worry when Parse doesn’t text him back right away on the third day. He likes all of Parse’s pictures on all of his Instagram accounts and meets his own trainer to start undoing his vacation. By late afternoon, Matty’s glad that he and Parse are long past caring about sending each other multiple texts before getting a reply. But when the sun sets and he still hasn’t heard back from Parse, he caves and texts Reaper.

**Matty:** Have you talked to Parse or Swoops today?  
 **Reaper:** Swoops. Why?  
 **Matty:** Did it seem like anything was wrong?  
 **Reaper:** No, but we weren’t talking about anything important. If you’re worried about Parse, just text him.  
 **Matty:** It’s probably nothing.  
 **Reaper:** Or text Swoops if Parse isn’t answering you. You know Parse ghosts when something’s wrong.  
 **Matty:** Don’t say anything.  
 **Reaper:** Text Swoops and I won’t.

*

**Matty:** What’re you guys doing? I’m bored.

Jeff has his read receipts on because he’s a nerd so Matty knows that Jeff’s choosing not to answer him right away.

**Swoops:** Kent wasn’t looking at his phone, so he didn’t see your texts. He wasn’t trying to ignore you. He’s with me, but he’s not having a good day.  
 **Matty:** Can I come over?  
 **Swoops:** It’s not you. You know how he is when he’s upset.  
 **Matty:** I’ve seen him upset. Can you try to get him to let me come over? I want to be there for him.  
 **Swoops:** Give me time to talk to him. You know it’ll be better if he says it’s ok.  
 **Matty:** Ok.

Matty makes it through ten minutes of waiting before he gets up and drives most of the way to Kent’s house before pulling over to wait for Jeff’s response.

**Swoops:** Ok. Just be careful with him. He’s not in a good place.

Matty doesn’t bother answering. He just restarts his car and drives the remaining block to Kent’s house. Kent’s had a key to Matty’s apartment for years, but Matty still has to ring the bell. He gets it. Kent’s private and he’s already let Matty in more than anyone else besides Jeff. Matty didn’t get as far as he has by being impatient.

Jeff answers the door.

“You were waiting down the block,” Jeff says. Matty just shrugs.

“Hey.” Kent’s on the couch with Kit. He’s clearly been crying. Matty sits close to him and wraps his arm around Parse’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Parse whispers as he lets Matty gently move him until he’s completely wrapped in Matty’s arms with his back to Matty’s chest.

“I’m not mad. I know you and I knew you’d be with Jeff if something was wrong. I just wanted to be here for you too. You don’t have to talk to me about it if you’re not ready.”

“I’m not sure that I’m ready,” Parse says. “But Jeff thinks I am.”

That’s a bigger compliment than Kent believing it himself. Matty kisses the top of his head and doesn’t ask questions. He loves Kent. He’s never asked for details about why Kent’s in therapy, and that’s why he has the bits and bits and pieces that Kent’s volunteered.

“My parents e-mailed me today. They do that sometimes. When I do something in the media that they don’t like.” Parse pulls Matty’s arms tighter around him and laces their fingers together. He never talks about his parents. By now, all of the Aces know not to ask.

“They know I’m gay, but they just kind of ignore it. As long as it stays a secret, they leave me alone. They just care if I _act_ gay.”

When Matty doesn’t say anything, Parse pulls Matty’s phone from his pocket. He unlocks it and goes to his own last Instagram post. There’s nothing wrong with it, but Kent expands the comments. There’s a long thread with Eric Bittle about Kent’s plans to visit later in the summer.

“Bitty’s gay. Associating with him is too gay. My parents said it sounds like we’re flirting and accused me of dating him.”

There are so many things wrong with that, and Matty’s not so stupid that he’s going to admit how jealous he is that Kent and Bitty have clicked so quickly. Not right now at least.

“There are so many people that love you just the way you are,” Matty says because he doesn’t know how to fix things with Kent’s parents. “Reaper and Davy fought Jeff just to have any time with you during your rookie year.”

Kent doesn’t answer him right away, and when he does answer, he says something Matty never expected.

“But they don’t really know me. Not really.”

“What are you talking about? They all knew you were gay. They know you.”

Kent sits up, pulling away from him and dislodging Kit. Matty desperately wants to follow him and pull him back, but instead, he sits up slowly. Jeff’s still hovering at the edge of the room, waiting to jump in if Matty messes this up. Matty knows if he does something wrong, then he’ll probably get more chances. But he’d rather not need those other chances. He puts his hand on Kent’s shoulder but doesn’t move any closer.

“Do you think I don’t know you enough either?” Matty asks.

Kent’s so quiet when he answers that Matty almost doesn’t hear.

“Maybe. Some of it.”

“I love you a lot. Unless you killed someone that I care about I’ll probably just need to make sure you hid the body well enough, because I really don’t think Jeff can hide bodies that well. He has a lot of skills, but I really doubt he’s good at that kind of thing.”

That gets a short laugh out of Kent. Matty shifts a little closer to Kent’s back.

“You’re not going to scare me away. I’m not leaving you. Talk to me. Let me prove it.”

For a second, he thinks he’s pushed too much, but then Parse speaks.

“I just…I try to act like I’m supposed to, and I’m so used to it that I do it almost all the time. I dress the way I know I’m supposed to. I act the way I know I’m supposed to. I do it with everyone. Even you, because I don’t think about it anymore.”

Matty moves closer until his chest is pressed against Kent’s back.

“I know some things. I can hear your music through your headphones sometimes when you have the volume turned up too high. I’ve seen what Netflix recommends for you to watch when you insist on letting me pick the movies. I know you look more comfortable in suits than anything else you wear, so I know you’re not happy with your other clothes. I know you pretend to lose your hoodie so that you can wear Jeff’s when you’re upset because it makes you feel safe. I know you pretend to like golf because you think you’re supposed to, but you’d never be so bad at something that you actually cared about.”

Parse slowly relaxes until he turns and buries his face in Matty’s chest. Matty’s less upset about the tears this time. He knows that sometimes it’s the relief of all the stress that Kent’s built up that makes him cry.

“I’m sorry I never said anything about it. I thought it was better to let you tell me everything on your own time. I never thought you’d think I wouldn’t love you no matter what.”

“I should’ve trusted you,” Parse says. “It’s not even that I thought consciously about it. I was just used to it. I’m so used to it that I don’t even notice I’m doing it.”

That almost makes it worse. He’s obviously not happy about the show he’s been putting on and Matty never thought about how awful it had to be.

“Can you try to do it less for me? Even if it’s just when we’re home.”

“That’s what Jeff said. And Jack and Bitty.”

And Jack and Bitty. Parse talked to Jack and Bitty first. But Matty doesn’t need Jeff to tell him that now isn’t the time. Now is the time to prove to Parse that none of that matters. And maybe to convince Parse that Reaper and Hooks won’t care about this stuff either. For now, Matty will consider it a success that he’s in Kent’s bed and Jeff trusts him enough that he goes to sleep in his own room.

***

In the morning, Matty wakes up after Parse. He always wakes up after Parse when they’re at Parse’s house because Kit knows who to wake up for breakfast. But Parse always climbs back in bed with him and snuggles up with him even if he’s playing on his phone when Matty finally wakes up. Matty nuzzles his shoulder and kisses him. Parse puts down his phone and cuddles closer into Matty’s arms.

“So, I was thinking maybe we could stay in today and you could dress how you want. Even if it’s just with me and Jeff.”

“You’re sure?” Parse asks.

“I’m 100 percent sure.”

Kent goes into his closet and closes the door. It’s over ten minutes before Kent comes out. He’s wearing a Britney Spears tank top and jeans so tight that Matty wants to take them back off. As it is, Matty gives into the temptation to grab his ass and pull him closer.

“You can start wearing this in public whenever you want, but I definitely need to get used to it in private because I need at least a day to practice not getting a boner with you walking around like this.”

The blush on Parse’s cheeks is worth everything. He hides his face in Matty’s neck and Matty lets him stay there for a few seconds before he moves one of his hands to Kent’s cheek and pulls his head up so he can look him in the eyes.

“You’re so gorgeous. You’re gorgeous like this and you’re gorgeous in sweatpants. And I’m particularly partial to the way you smile when you’re holding the Stanley Cup.” Parse laughs and Matty kisses his smile.

“So,” Parse says when he pulls back. “I was thinking maybe I could invite Reaper and Hooks for dinner tonight and see what they think. You know, if you can keep your dick down long enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that using Matty’s point of view made this whole thing more clear in the chose-your-verse version of this while not rehashing something that from Kent’s point of view was not overly different even if it happened earlier in his life. While I still feel a little ridiculous writing an AU of my one fic, this is super interesting to see what changes and what stays the same with just a few changes. (Matty’s, Holsters, and Ransom’s sexualities first. And later, some…other stuff. 😉)


	4. Chapter 4

**Kent**

Kent wants to visit Jack and Bitty, but it’s not easy for him to leave Vegas. He doesn’t want to leave right after he starts to finally be himself with the people in his life. Besides, he has time to kill before he gets to meet Eric Bittle who’s down in Georgia until the beginning of August. Kent likes him as much as he knew that he would. It probably helps that Kent started their conversation with Zimms’ most awkward pictures from freshman year of high school. Bitty thought they were adorable, so he obviously loves Zimms at least as much as Kent does.

“I want you to go with me, but you have to be normal. And I’m not confident that you can be normal,” Kent tells Matty when Zimms texts him with ideal dates. They’ll probably end up spending some of the time at Samwell since that’s the time Zimms has to share Bitty anyway. Kent can’t be offended that Zimms doesn’t want to share their alone time. Matty only left him for a week to visit his parents, and it felt like forever.

“I can be normal.”

“You’ve followed him on every social media account but refused to interact with him at all. You refused to eat Bitty’s pie. Not only is that an incredibly stupid decision that only punishes you, it’s the most offensive thing you could do to him.”

“I’m not going to be bought by pie.”

“Bitty has literally never done anything to you. Or to me.”

Matty shrugs.

“I just don’t understand,” Kent says when Matty doesn’t answer him. “We obviously don’t want to get back together. We both have boyfriends. I like his boyfriend. He wants to get to know you, and he wants you to like him. He even asks how you are when we talk. But you’re still like this. You know it’s not fair.”

“I know.” Matty pushes Kent over on the couch so Matty can lie on top of him. He presses his face into Kent’s stomach and wraps his arm around Kent’s thighs. “I know I’m being stupid and acting like an asshole and I don’t know how to explain why.”

Kent cards his hand through Matty’s hair. It’s hard to be mad at him when he’s obviously mad at himself. Maybe Kent can even explain to Zimms that at least Matty knows he’s being ridiculous.

“I love you, but I’m not taking you with me if you’re going to be like this. Zimms will put up with some mild threats, but I’m not letting you attack him or Bitty. Bitty’s never done anything to either of us.”

Matty nods into his stomach and clings to him. It’s kind of nice to not be the disaster in their relationship for once, but he’d feel better if he had any idea how to deal with this.

“I know Jeff’s right,” Matty says as he picks at the seam of Kent’s sweatpants. “I know it’s good for you to have other queer friends. Especially Bitty. But I hate it.”

“You’re okay with me having other friends in general.” Maybe if they can just pick apart the problem, then Kent can fix it.

“I know them,” Matty says.

“You’re not trying to know Jack and Bitty.”

When Matty doesn’t answer him, Kent asks, “Can you tell me something they did since I started talking to Zimms again that you didn’t like?”

“Everything.”

It’s not funny, but Kent laughs anyway. He could tell this entire story to Jeff and Jeff wouldn’t believe him. The other Aces have accepted that Matty gets jealous and possessive and that’s already outside of his normal chill. No one will ever believe Matty can be this pouty and immature.

“Okay. But they haven’t really done anything bad. And being friends with Bitty has really helped me. I didn’t realize how miserable I was from trying to act straight all the time until I had Bitty to compare myself to. And now I realize that I can be myself around you and Jeff and Reaper and everyone else who matters. I mean, seriously, I love you and respect your boring fashion choices, but I’m a lot happier knowing that you love me with my much more fabulous fashion choices even if I still have to dress like a bro in public.”

Matty shrugs.

“Wait? Does that bother you? You said it was fine.”

Matty scrambles up his body before Kent has a chance to start overthinking if Matty’s less attracted to him when he dresses differently.

“Babe, no. I love you exactly the way you are. All the time. You’re just all different kinds of hot.”

Kent nods and lets Matty kiss away his panic, but he pushes Matty back before they get distracted.

“So, what about it bothers you?”

Matty sighs and rests his head on Kent’s chest. It’s frustrating. This whole situation is frustrating, but Matty’s spent a lot of time helping Kent get his words out. Kent can do the work even if it’s been an on-going thing for six months now.

“Are you mad I talked to Bitty about it before you?”

“No,” Matty says, but there’s something off about the quiet way he says it—like he’s not lying, but Kent’s getting closer.

“I should’ve said something,” Matty says while Kent’s still trying to think of a better question to ask.

“Should’ve said something about what?”

“About the stuff with your clothes. I knew you were kind of faking things, but I didn’t say anything. I just assumed you’d know I didn’t care. And you were walking around hating things about yourself and feeling bad and I didn’t realize it at all. I’m supposed to be your boyfriend and your best friend, and I didn’t say anything, so you talked to him about it first.”

“Jeff told me to talk to you,” Kent says. “He was sure you’d be fine.”

“But you didn’t think you could.”

“I was wrong, obviously.”

Kent tilts Matty’s head so he can look at his face.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I was messed up from stupid stuff my parents said to me, and I wasn’t thinking right. You didn’t do anything that really made me think I couldn’t talk to you about it. It wasn’t even something I thought about a lot. Trying to act straight is something I’ve been doing my whole life. I didn’t even think about changing it until I started talking to Bitty, but that’s not because of anything you did that was wrong.”

“But I could’ve said something. I knew you were putting up a front. I could’ve told you that you didn’t have to do that with me.”

Of the two of them, Kent is definitely the crier, so seeing Matty tear up breaks Kent’s heart.

“I don’t expect you to figure out something is bothering me before _I_ figure out it’s bothering me. That’s ridiculous. I don’t expect _anyone_ to do that. Jeff doesn’t even expect that of himself.”

“I know. I still wish I’d been better so that you would’ve talked to me.” Matty hides his face in Kent’s shirt again so Kent misses the next thing he says.

“Can you repeat that?”

“No. Because it’s horrible and stupid.”

“I’ve said so many horrible and stupid things since you met me. I won’t judge you.”

“I feel like I’m not your best friend anymore. Like Jeff’s always been basically your brother. And the old guys are the old guys and the young guys are children. But we’ve always been kind of apart from all that stuff. Even after you got the captaincy. I’m the best friend. I don’t like being only the boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend’s a really high rank, you know?”

“Obviously. I don’t want to be only the best friend either. I want both. I want everything.”

Kent stops himself from reflexively saying that he _is_ everything. If there’s anyone he actually can’t imagine living without, it’s Jeff, and Kent thinks that’s a lot healthier for his relationship than having that person be Matty.

“I hate to sound like my therapist, but you know that would be really, really unhealthy, right?” Kent finally says.

“I know. I’ve listened to Reaper tell me that it’s healthy for you to have other friends a million times. It’s not like I don’t want you have other friends at all. But you haven’t denied that I’m not the best friend anymore.”

“I haven’t thought about it before,” Kent admits. He knows it’s not what Matty wants to hear, but he doesn’t want to lie.

“Can we shift? I want to look at you when I say this, okay?” Kent pulls Matty up and it’s a tight fit on the couch, but they manage to both shift to their sides so that they can face each other.

“You’re not less. You’re still everything you were before. You’re more. I trust you more than I did before. I tell you more. I want you around more. When you said you loved me exactly how I am, and you already knew I was holding back, it was way more important to me than anyone else staying it. Zimms and Bitty are in no way more important to me than you are. It’s not even a question. If I was dating someone else, I wouldn’t say that my boyfriend was more important than my best friend. But since that doesn’t apply, I can say that if I do have another best friend, you’re still above that. Okay? Does that make any sense?”

“I guess,” Matty says, but Kent can tell it’s not exactly what he wants to hear.

“I know you want me to say that you’re still both, but I don’t want that. I can’t. I can’t have one person be everything. If it’s like that, I’ll start freaking out about everything because losing you will mean being all by myself again. That’s how it was with Zimms. I’m sorry that I think this is better for our relationship.”

Matty cups Kent’s cheek in his palm.

“Don’t be. You’re right. I’m being stupid. I guess, I just look at it differently. I get scared that if we break up, you’ll have them, and you’ll be upset with me and I won’t even get to be your best friend either.”

“First of all, you should realize that if I still wanted to be friends with Zimms after everything that happened, that’s evidence that if you let me be your friend, then I’ll want to be your friend. But if that’s not enough for you, I’ll just tell you. If you’re _ever_ not my boyfriend—which will definitely suck—I’m fully expecting you to go right back to being my best friend. It’ll be hard, but we’ll figure it out.”

“But what if you hate me then and you’re not mad at Zimmermann?”

“I don’t know. Break up with me yourself instead of making your dad do it and then don’t wait four years to hang out with me again and I think you’ll pull ahead of him. I know he had very good reasons for doing what he did, but I don’t think it’ll be that hard be less of asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously, this was a very important time in Kent’s relationship with Matty. That said, I decided to leave a lot of the reconciliation with Jack “off-screen” not only because Matty isn’t directly involved, but because it’s not really that different than it was in the original version. Even if Jack doesn’t know it yet, I think his feelings for Bitty existed during his conversation with Kent. I also think that the biggest part of that conversation was Kent getting past the trauma of Jack’s overdose by talking about it and not necessarily their romantic feelings. So those conversations just didn’t change except for a few details.
> 
> I sent the next part of this to my beta today. I was suck on it for a bit, but I did start writing it again today so it should keep going quickly. :)

**Author's Note:**

> So obviously, this is where I’m changing canon a bit. There’s just no way I’m going to be like, “Kent goes to Samwell and tries to get with Jack while dating Matty.” I think everyone knows I’m not writing that. So this is a rewrite of that situation.
> 
> I did have this betaed, but I always change things after that, so if I made any mistakes and you want to tell me in comments, I totally welcome it. <3
> 
> If you want to read all my other stuff it is posted on a different site. I'm not to allowed to link it here, but the link to that can be found on  
> my tumblr: @lostinanimage  
> or  
> Reaper's twitter: https://twitter.com/XGrimmReaper33


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